To You, Dearly

(a personal narrative of life)

| A gentle reflection on untangling life’s questions and finding meaning in the quietest parts of ourselves.

Have you ever found yourself lost in thought—those moments when dreams and reflections take over, stirring a sense of unease? It feels as though there’s a hidden path waiting for you to uncover it. But the idea of stepping onto it seems overwhelming.

Maybe you’ve been there: your mind wandering in circles, weighed down by problems that feel impossible to untangle. You might find yourself on a road where your thoughts scatter like autumn leaves in the wind. And just as you try to gather them, life tosses in its complications, tangling everything further.

It’s challenging, isn’t it? Exploring the hidden parts of ourselves that seem to call out, begging to be discovered.

But I want you to know this: you’re not alone in this feeling. And it’s okay to take the time you need to navigate and understand these complex emotions and thoughts inside you.

We don’t doubt that life has a way of playing tricks on us. At times, it feels like a puzzle, full of mystery and unanswered questions. And yet—when I take a step back and look closely—life reveals itself as something esoterically precious. A priceless gift, woven with moments that demand to be cherished.

There are times we look back on our darkest days—the tragedies we thought would break us—and realize they shaped us in ways we couldn’t have imagined. To reflect on how far we’ve come is to find ecstasy in the journey itself. To recognize that even in the struggle, there’s a quiet victory. And that’s the beauty of life!

And if there’s one thing that I’ve learned, it’s that life—despite its ups and downs—is a gift we’re meant to cherish.

Think about it.

Sure, life gets complicated, but it’s also full of moments that take your breath away.

From the wonders of nature to the relationships we build, life is made up of moments both challenging and rewarding. And in the end, it’s always worth holding onto.

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Here’s a little story about my own journey…

For the longest time, I couldn’t quite pin down what life really meant to me.

At times, it felt like an exciting adventure. But then, it was overwhelming and unpredictable. But, I’ve come to see that the beauty of life lies in the endless possibilities it gives us—to dream big and keep going, no matter what stands in our way.

Life and I have had our fair share of struggles. I have faced setbacks, celebrated wins, met incredible people, and pushed through challenges I never thought I could overcome. Through it all, I’ve found inspiration in unexpected places.

And yet, as I journeyed deeper into my own existence, I uncovered a truth I hadn’t seen before: My life felt… obscure.

Every waking moment became part of an endless quest for self-discovery.

It took me a long time to figure out what I wanted—or rather, what I truly wanted. Asking myself where I belong, how I should feel, and whether I am enough just as I am. Or, am I simply pretending to be something else?

There were nights when I sat in silence, staring at the wall, unable to finish even a simple task. Almost filled my head with relentless thoughts, loud questions, and things that weren’t even relevant at the time. It was like my mind was working against me, pulling me into battles I wasn’t even ready to fight.

It felt endless, battling my own thoughts until I could finally say, 'That’s enough!’ That’s enough.

It’s hard to explain what it’s like to fight against yourself. It's a struggle to often feel like, no one can truly understand the things you’re going through, when the complexity is in your mind and you’re fighting against you.

But maybe, that’s when things started to change.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned on this day, it’s that… this struggle isn’t something you have to face alone.

…

Isn’t life like a "river"? Sometimes calm, sometimes turbulent, but always flowing and carrying us forward.

Life is just so obscure that even our own emotions become hard to grasp. Its twists and turns that often leave us questioning ourselves and struggling to make sense of it all.

But maybe that’s where the magic lies—in the uncertainty.

Or if in this moment and I feel okay—watching my reflection in the glow of an empty screen… But who knows, when my heart will suddenly turn sentimental and it’d be hard for me to tell what’s true?

And yet, perhaps it is in these very moments of doubt and uncertainty that we find the truest reflections of who we are.

Life may not give us all the answers, but it gives us the courage to keep searching.

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Thinking back as a growing kid, life didn’t seem meaningful enough to me until the moment I could speak about it ─ which brought such ecstasy for life. Beautiful thoughts have come to my mind, and even those unusual kinds few could have introspected. And, I was able to embrace them wholeheartedly.

I guess I’ve come to know now the purpose of life, the deeper ones. And, oh, how magnificent it truly was to fully know each one of them, especially the rare ones.

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The first thing I believe one should know about me is something I’ve rarely kept a secret—it is my love for creation. Writing, music, fashion, and art have always been my compass and voice for shaping who I am. Colored my world, and given me the courage to dream.

Though these passions hold the widest place in my heart…

Still, a part of me hopes this truth stays quietly between us. For while I long to share my creations with the world, even though they are deeply personal as well. One day, perhaps, you will see how these pursuits have enriched the story of my life, how they have carried me through its most beautiful and most trying moments.

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Just like many songwriters and poets, I have become accustomed to seeking happiness and consolation in melodies, hums, in nature, and in the magic of words. Discovering a song or a story that resonates deeply has always felt like finding a missing piece of oneself, and it is a reminder of the connection between us and the world.

… For the past few years, I’ve been pouring my heart into this narrative—“To You, Dearly.” 

Written down is a story of a girl living her life from an entirely different perspective, exploring the unimagined possibilities of her existence. A narrative that plainly seeks to reflect the many forms life can take, hoping to ignite the imagination and attention of its readers.

And by that, as this narrative draws to a close, here are a few parting words I’ve long been eager to leave for you:

Scattered throughout our lives—are random pieces of uncertainty, misery, moments of doubt, misunderstandings from people, thorns of betrayal, peace of mind, tragic mind, intolerable thoughts, questions, insecurities, feelings of disappointment, and nonsense. However, in this world, we only have ourselves and our choices, whether you want to be happy or have that peace of mind.

So whichever path you choose to go, I hope you put yourself the armor of courage to walk forward and boldly through life’s many journeys.

Take enough risks. Never losing faith. Staying hopeful and mindful. Learning through acceptance of failures and consequences. Patting yourself on the back, and wishing yourself good luck at every turn. Believing proudly in yourself. Evading the urge to be jealous, and, simply being happy for yourself and those around you.

…

In this world, we only have ourselves and our choices, whether you want to be happy or have that peace of mind.

Peace and Happiness

Sometimes, when we take the option to be happy, we typically do the things that only provide us with fulfillment rather than the certainty of happiness we desired. Yet, it does not always provide us with the peace of mind we kept searching for.

However, when the first thing that we seek is this mental peace to us. Even if the circumstances are not what we asked for or intended to, to be happy—learning to accept those matters in life and focusing on what's best for yourself is what true "peace of mind" is all about, my dear friend.

It may have failed to begin with easy tasks. Or it may not have sounded good or exciting at first but, knowing that it's the way to the certainty of your life—means you're on the path to getting the most authentic kind of happiness that nothing solid-material in this world could give you anything less than.

When life throws you curveballs, have faith in yourself. Have faith that you will soon find a morning light in the midst of your darkest hours. And hope that will always lead you and steady you on a purposeful path. It’s like allowing yourself to explore some of the great and novel aspects of your life... This goes without saying that nothing (in life) lasts forever.

So, I hope you understand that whichever part of the untold of life you’re in, you’ll be the wiser. Be wide awake. Be the forceful one. Where life is full of many surprises, we may choose whether or not to enjoy them. And know that those with rare minds, those who seek meaning in the chaos, tend to look at the big picture and are mostly assured that life will bring them enough joy.

…

Whatever you hold dear, remember: it was always a part of you, waiting to be brought to life.

Change and Let Go

And yet, to be clear, everyone has different views on life and how they see it to be resolved is even more diversified. That is why, you shall be discerning. Be among those who sense things in a unique but graceful kind of way. Be someone who others can look up to and follow. Let us change our attitudes toward life’s hugs and be one of the admiring samples of positive changes.

Yes, the journey is long, and the progress is hard-won. But trust your heart’s desire. Smile. Embrace the fact that this is your whole life—unique, irreplaceable, and filled with potential. Listen to your quiet voice within you, the one that urges you to keep going, to keep believing.

It may be against every odd of life. But it will lead you to a decision you will, in any sense, never ever regret.

Let go of doubt. Make room for your purpose. It’s like giving up on something else for that one thing that you loved keeping dearly.

Pursue what sets your soul on fire, and take pride in the journey, not just the destination. Whatever you hold dear, remember: it was always a part of you, waiting to be brought to life. And you deserve it…

For it has always been in you, and forever—it belongs to you, dearly.

...

To You, I Write This, Dearly.

And so, I leave this story here, like a letter pressed into your hand—a reminder to cherish life in all its forms, to embrace its trials and treasures alike. And to hold your head high in the face of uncertainty.

May you always walk forward with courage and grace, always.

-The Author

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